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The Weird Foods The Victoria’s Secret Models Eat Right Before The Fashion Show

As betches, we’re always wondering WTF models and celebrities are eating. We probably need a new hobby, but honestly this one keeps us busy enough for now. The VS Fashion Show is in Shanghai this year, and we already have our Seamless orders ready to cuddle up with a bottle of Pinot Noir and watch Candice Swanepoel strut down the runway in lingerie that would realistically only be found in a gentleman’s club in Downtown LA. Regardless, we’ve been doing some research on what the Angels like to eat leading up to the show. Or like, what their trainers are making them eat. Here’s what we found.


Adriana Lima

It feels like Adriana’s been in the VS lineup forever, so she’s obviously doing something right. I mean, this woman is literally a MOM and has a better body than 99% of European models and 100% of all Americans. IDK if it’s the Brazilian genes or the discipline to do boxing workouts six days a week, but she has her nutrition on point. Adriana swears by eating six meals a day and she’s obsessed with buckwheat, a grain-like seed that’s filled with protein and fiber. She literally eats it with milk and honey before bed, and says it helps her burn calories while she sleeps. BRB, currently ordering a 10 pound bag of buckwheat on Amazon.

Blanca Padilla

Blanca Padilla is coached by a famous NYC trainer Stephen Pasterino, and he controls her exact diet and workout schedule before the show. Her diet is all about eliminating foods that could cause bloating or inflammation, so she takes a shot of apple cider vinegar in the morning and then avoids any hard-to-digest foods like kale, broccoli, nut butters, and bananas. She’s also not allowed to have any salt with her meals and can’t have any packaged foods whatsoever. Sounds like hell.

Sara Sampaio

Sara claims she basically eats like a basic betch throughout the year, and then cuts down to healthy foods and a ton of exercise before the show. She basically lives off pizza, bread, and pasta, and then swaps the carbs for fish, fruit, chicken, and veggies before the show, while adding in a gym sesh 4-5 days a week. This diet honestly doesn’t sound that bad, the issue is that I do not for one second believe she actually eats all those carbs when she’s not in VS show mode.

Lais Ribeiro

Lais Ribeiro says she doesn’t even change her diet that much around the time of the show. She eats a lot of protein all year to keep her muscles healthy, so she just makes sure to have protein every day leading up to the show. Aside from that, she just depends on whole foods and real ingredients. Ugh, boring.

Martha Hunt

Martha is also protein-obsessed, but her diet is more meat-heavy than you’d expect. Let’s just say this girl isn’t ordering a salad. Martha says she swears by meat, salmon, and eggs to fill her up, and she also loves almond butter to spread on basically anything. Martha is definitely one of the models who works out really hard, so the high-protein diet makes sense. Like, she trains at an NYC boxing gym called Dogpound on the reg. She’s not exactly sipping on a green juice afterwards.

Bridget Malcolm

Bridget got snubbed from the VS show this year, but we’re pretty fascinated by what she was eating when she thought she would be in the show. Like, let’s just say she seems like a bit of an obsessive dieter. I mean, we’re not judging or anything. We’ve tried every diet in the book, but we don’t claim to live a balanced lifestyle or anything like that. Bridget is a vegan, and she also makes sure to wait at least 12 hours between breakfast and dinner. She follows some Japanese principle called “Hara hachi bu” which means you stop eating when you’re 80 percent full. I have a headache just thinking about this diet, but if it works for her, you do you, Bridget. She sounds like the type of girl who takes her horoscope too seriously. Just saying.

Josephine Skriver

We should probably start by saying that Josephine claims she hates the word “diet” and loves to live a “healthy lifestyle.” We’re guessing she probably also shops on the Goop website and calls a whole wheat bagel a cheat meal. Regardless, Josephine sticks to protein, vegetables, and brown rice for her pre-show routine. She says her typical breakfast is scrambled eggs and brown rice, which seems pretty legit and respectable but also kind of disgusting. Eggs and rice? Sounds gross. But then again, she says she doesn’t drink American milk because she only likes the milk from Denmark, so like, maybe she is a psycho. Also, who drinks milk?


We Need To Make Sure Katy Perry Is OK

The Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Benefit, aka that #MetGala thing all the celebrities you follow on Instagram kept posting about last night, is basically the biggest fashion party of the year. Its an event to fund the fashion department at that museum where Blair Waldorf ate lunch everyday. Every single relevant celebrity (and some non-relevant ones) shows up in a dress that takes up at least eight square feet of red carpet space and somehow has space to take a bunch of bomb solo pics. If youve ever tried to take an outfit Insta in Manhattan, you know how impossible it is to get a shot without an angry New Yorker in the background. IDK, Im not like a scientist or a geographer or anything but to me that sounds like this event is pretty massive. Anyway, lets talk about the fashion.


Just like all of the Greek life mixers you attended, the Met Gala has a theme every year. Its pretty similar to college parties in the sense that it doesnt really matter if your outfit isnt totally in keeping with the theme as long as you look hot and/or get a great Instagram. Really, the only difference is that in college, you didnt care about the theme because you were drunk, but for the Met Gala, you dont care about the theme because its some avant-garde shit you probably cant spell or pronounce. This years gala was in honor of Rei Kawakubo, the creator of the Japanese fashion label Comme Des Garons. See? I told you.




Rumor has it Kylie Jenners Versace gown is made out of the exact beaded curtain Britney Spears is seductively hiding behind on the album cover. I know that this is just a rumor because I just made it up right now, but its the least damaging rumor Ive ever started so I think that its probably okay to tell your friends about it.

Giseles dress was obviously fabulous because we, like everyone else on Earth, have been brainwashed into thinking everything Gisele does is nothing short of dazzlingbut her dress definitely wasnt outrageous or confusing, which seemed like a missed opportunity. Like, Met Gala is the one chance you get to literally glue random shit to your head yet Gisele took her wardrobe cues from the Super Bowl trophy her husband almost didn’t win this year.

Speaking of gluing random shit to your head and calling it a night, thats exactly what Katy Perry did. I cant really tell if this is like super high fashion or the unofficial release of a new pair of Snapchat Spectacles, but either way, somebody better check on Katy to make sure she’s not on the verge of a Britney 2007-esque breakdown. This whole thing looks like if my latest Pinterest fail came to life and started singing about the 2016 election. Like, what is that eyeball? And can’t she get a handler to make sure her veil is on straight? Also, is she wearing socks with sandals here? Her feet look like two enormous camel toes. Every inch of this ensemble is just too much, and, to make matters worse, it’s not even original. I’m fairly certain I saw this exact look on Winona Ryder at the end of . 

Everyones freaking out over the fact that Blake Lively looked exactly like Serena Van Der Woodsen returning to the Met steps last night. To those people, I would like to point out the little known fact that Blake Lively actually play Serena Van Der Woodsen in the hit series , so like, yeah theres a pretty solid chance shes going to look like her. Anyway, the way the seaming on that dress perfectly accentuates Blake’s curves is definitely going to inspire my next going out outfit/crash diet. I don’t even hate the large bird trapped in the bottom of her skirt. Ugh, is Blake lively perfect because I hate her, or do I hate her because she’s perfect?

In an effort to convince us she’s given up the thirst trap life, Kim Kardashian wore the most understated dress possible. Honestly, it looks like one half of an Esmeralda costume. This is actually genius because she’s already used every over-the-top play in the book, so the best way to get people to talk about her is to basically do nothing. Honestly the most shocking part of this ensemble was the fact that Kim’s third child, Kanye, was conspicuously missing.

Bella Hadid wore the ULTIMATE Im going to run into my ex boyfriend and his new pop star girlfriend slutty outfit. It looks like she was on her way to audition for and then got a last-minute invite to the Met Gala. Its literally the most skintight ensemble Ive ever seen in my entire life and Im actually wincing thinking about all of the boob tape she probably had to peel off her body at the end of the night. 

Lily Collins looked like what would happen if Regina George and Janis Ian finally gave into the lesbian relationship they both denied in middle school and raised a child together.

And lastly, Rihanna won best dressed because she wins best dressed at everything these days. It’s just a thing, okay? If you Google “Met Gala 2017” it’s like 80% photographs of Rihanna. Unlike The Grammy’s when she stole the show by drinking out of a flask, this time RiRi showed everyone up by rolling around in your grandmother’s potpourri basket. She somehow managed to wear a dress (????) that could double as a second grader’s arts and crafts project and was twice the size of her body but still somehow managed to show off her underboob tattoo. She paired it with shoes that a team of people who make more money than you spent 30 minutes lacing up. What a legend.  

All about Katy Perry

5 Diet And Exercise Mistakes Your Trainer Wish You’d Stop Making


Nicole Nam has a Bachelors of Science in Public Health Nutrition Specialization and a Masters of Science in Kinesiology. She has a personal training certification from the American Council of Exercise, and has trained a variety of clients, including a contestant in this year’s Miss Nevada competition. Follow her on Instagram here.

As a personal trainer, I see a lot of my clients struggle with information overload. So much contradicting information is thrown at you that you don’t know wtf to believe. I always want my clients, and Betches readers, to approach every piece of information you read/hear/come across pertaining to fitness and wellness with a subjective mindset. No two bodies are the same—so what works for one person might not work for you for many reasons, whether it’s biological makeup or cultural preferences. (Example: you won’t find me on the keto diet—I’m Asian, I was raised on rice and noodles and carbs.) Fitness and achieving your dream body is about finding what works for you.

That said, I want to give you five general diet and exercise mistakes that I’ve seen hinder my clients’ progress despite their age, their genetic makeup, and their lifestyle. Get ready for some harsh truths. Take from this article what you will, because maybe some of these mistakes are things you’re doing and finding success with. If that’s the case, IGNORE ME. Listen to your body first.

1. Doing Only Cardio, Or Only Weights












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I am a paragon of wellness @dietstartstomorrow

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A lot of my beginner clients were cardio addicts. They loved cardio because it’s easy. It’s one movement for an extended period of time—they don’t have to mess with equipment, they don’t have to come up with a routine, and they don’t have to learn how to properly execute movements. But weights changed their lives. The thing is, cardio alone will not give you the muscle tone that you want. What it WILL do is make you lose weight. Whether that’s good or bad is up to you. On the other hand, if you hop on social media you’ll see fitness models praise the weights-only method. They don’t do cardio, or they’ll do 15 minutes max. They lift heavy weights only. From personal experience, doing weights ONLY (especially if you lift medium-heavy) can cause weight gain (due to increased muscle, but the same amount of fat) and a bulkier look. Again, whether that’s good or bad is up to you. My clients want to lose fat and increase muscle simultaneously, so the best solution that I have found for myself AND my clients is to split it 50-50. If we have an hour to work, we do 30 minutes of cardio with 30 minutes of weights.

2. Not Drinking Water












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And then wondering why I’m sad and have a headache @alyssalimp

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Drink that sh*t. It helps your body to recover from physical activity, flushes out toxins, and it will also help you figure out REAL hunger—not hunger from thirst or hunger from boredom. Don’t drink Vitamin Water, don’t drink diet soda…WHY. Why do that to yourself? Your body doesn’t need that. Your body needs clean, pure WATER.

3. Not Taking Days Off


Some of my clients are super ambitious and strong-willed, or they’re working on a time crunch to be a certain size. They’ll train a total of six days a week, and do the same body parts all six days a week. Then they’ll complain to me about not seeing results. Well sweetie, that’s because you’ve torn down your muscle fibers to shreds! You’ve not given the fibers time to repair themselves (which is where you see results). Regardless of their deadline, I require my clients to take two days off from training a week and take one day to do restorative low-impact exercises such as yoga or Pilates. The other four days, you have my permission to go balls to the walls with it.

4. Trying To Outrun A Bad Diet












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you know you pictured a specific type of pasta when you read this | @dylanhafer

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I can’t help you work off all the bullsh*t you eat if you’re steadily eating bullsh*t. Just because we did a 90-minute session does not give you an excuse to eat whatever you want, especially if you’re serious about your goals and ESPECIALLY if we’re working with a four-week deadline for your wedding. Throw out all the crap in your house, and do not restock your cupboard with all that damn junk food just to torture yourself. What are you gonna do? Stare at it, until you give in and finally eat it anyway? That’s not going to work. There’s a reason they say “you can’t outrun a bad diet”.

The more you cook, the more you know what is going into your body. Try to find the joy in cooking, even if it’s something that a 6-year-old could make like scrambled eggs. Keep eating out at restaurants to a minimum if you’re trying to lose weight. That’s because restaurants’ main concerns are the taste of their food and their Yelp reviews—they could give a damn about your fitness goals. For example, restaurant scrambled eggs often have unnecessary sh*t like cream, cheese, or tons of butter that could turn your innocent scrambled eggs into a calorie bomb. Invest in a good nonstick pan, make your own scrambled eggs and spinach, and you’ve probably just cut the calories in half.


5. Not Taking Vitamins












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‪Idk who needs to hear this but getting drunk and banging that trash dude u swore to ur friends u weren’t gonna f*ck with anymore, makes you look like a dumb ass bish and me and all ur friends are v disappointed. ‬

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When your body is deficient in a certain vitamin, it translates into a craving. Craving “fatty” foods like butter and cheese? Could be a lack of Omega-3’s. Craving chocolate? Maybe your magnesium levels are low. Craving super salty or super sweet foods? A zinc supplement could help. Bottom line is, when your cells are hungry you will most likely be too. This is also the case for those that are cutting out whole food groups such as those on any low-carbohydrate or low-fat diets.

Now that you’re aware of these common diet and exercise mistakes, you can stop falling into these traps and start achieving your fitness goals.

Images: betches (2), dietstartstomorrow, daddyissues_ / Instagram; betchesluvthis / Twitter

Read more: Pure Weight Loss Program is combined with an exciting new breakthrough ingredient that comes with a complete online comprehensive diet and weight loss program to help you lose weight.

The 5 Grains You Need To Add To Your Diet Like, Yesterday

We all learned in like, infancy, that carbs are evil incarnate. But it would probs surprise you to know that working whole grains into your diet is actually like, good for you. They won’t make you fat, and they could actually make you live longer. Shit, they’ll even reduce cholesterol, improve your heart health, keep you full, and make you better at sex. One of those things was not true. But like, aside from rice and couscous, what else is there in the grain world? (And don’t say pasta.) We rounded up a few so that you don’t have to traipse through the aisles of Whole Foods’ self-serve bulk area for longer than is absolutely necessary.

1. Amaranth

Ever heard of it? Probs not but that’s okay. Amaranth is full of protein, calcium, fiber, AND iron so naturally it’s great for you. You can cook it and add it to your morning oatmeal, use it as a rice or pasta, or just eat the raw seeds for extra crunch (jk, don’t do that). Oh, and it’s gluten-free for all you fake celiacs out there.

2. Oats

Yawn. Oats are totally boring and have been a snoozefest at breakfast for years, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t healthy. As told by the frightening Quaker man on the box whom I’ve had nightmares about, oats are super heart healthy and can keep you full for more than breakfast. If you really hate oatmeal, sprinkle whole oats into your baking adventures or make a savory oat porridge and serve it with something fancy. Really.

3. Quinoa

Quinoa was a super popular buzzword (buzz-grain?) a few years ago, but just cause it’s kinda gone out of style doesn’t mean it lost its benefits. If you aren’t super tight with heart disease, diabetes, and being a fat fuck, this should be your go-to grain. It’s also a complete protein since it actually contains all nine essential amino acids. The ancient Incans must’ve been some healthy motherfuckers.

4. Barley

Do the cholesterol goblins keep you up at night? Me either, but keeping them at bay still isn’t a bad idea. Whole grain barley (not pearled, which is the not-as-healthy variety with the germ and bran removed) lowered cholesterol by A LOT for people in a study who apparently had to eat it for five weeks. That’s a lot of barley, but the benefits are legit. It’ll also keep you fuller for longer, making you less likely to reach for a candy bar later.

5. Freekeh

The name is stupid, the benefits are not. And no, it is not the first half of the hook to a Petey Pablo song. This ancient wheat is super low carb and has four times the fiber of brown rice. This shit also has more vitamins and minerals than other grains. FUCK, it even helps digestion. I guess the real question is why aren’t you already inhaling this? You can make it rice style and serve for dinner OR get kinda weird with it and make a sweeter version for breakfast. Oh, and if you can’t find it, head to the Middle Eastern section of the grocery store.

read more : Weight Loss Secrets

How To Avoid Getting Fat At Your Summer Internship

Internships are just one of those things betches have to endure at some point in their lives. Like, as much as wed prefer to spend our summer sleeping in until 11 and tanning until 7, sometimes weve gotta suck it up and get our shit together. So, now that weve established that well be sitting in a cold, lifeless office 9-5 from Monday through Friday, lets focus on staying fit while doing so. With the combo of catered intern lunches from Quiznos and the obvious requirement of sitting on your ass all day, its not easy to stay skinny all summer. Like, this one job might look good on your resume, but its still not worth gaining an extra 20 pounds in two months. Heres how to avoid getting fat at your internship.

1. Squeeze In An At-Home Workout

Not everyone is a psychotic morning person, so if you cant make it to the gym before work, we get it. Like, people who wake up at 5:30am and are are checking in at Equinox by 5:55 are just not human, so lets not even pretend thats an option. If you really want to squeeze in a workout, your best bet is to find a quick at-home workout online that you can do in your apartment/parents’ living room before work in the morning or when you get home later. You might not have fancy gym equipment or your favorite treadmill around, but you can easily get in a good sweat at home. Plus, youll get to look down on all your co-workers who didnt burn like, 500 calories before 9am.

2. Walk To Work

Unless youre living on the Lower East Side and your office is on 68th Street, try to walk to work if the weather is doable and you have the time. It might seem like a long walk compared to taking the subway or an Uber, but youll end up getting in a ton of steps that really add up. Youre sitting at a desk all day, so it wouldnt kill you to walk to work or home at the end of the day. If you need to pack your heels in a bag or even an extra top, do it. With a solid playlist and a Venti iced coffee, the time will fly by and youll feel good about it.

3. Take Unnecessary Long Routes Around The Office

Lets put it this way: The more steps you can get in throughout the day, the better. For example, skip the awkward elevator rides with co-workers and actually use the stairs to get to your office. I mean, if youre on the 40th floor, you can skip that, but if youre on a floor below ten, consider it. Plus, its obviously not legit exercise to walk to the bathroom and then back to your desk, but if you start going out of your way to get around the office, the steps will start adding up. Youll also be wasting time, which is an obvious plus. Like, one second youre peeing every 10 minutes, the next second its 5pm and everyones packing up. What a productive day. Good work.

4. Keep Snacks At Your Desk

The key to beating starvation and mindless snacking throughout the day is actually showing up with snacks. It sounds counter-intuitive to keep food around you at all times, but itll prevent you from chowing down on your offices bowl of Peanut M&Ms when you feel like youre gonna pass out mid-afternoon. Make sure to pack healthy snacks that will keep you full throughout the day, like unsalted cashews, berries, natural protein bars, and single-serving almond butter packets.

5. Be Strategic About Lunch

Everyone takes a lunch break, so its your decision whether you want to plan your strategy a bit in advance or be pressured into ordering in dumplings from Chinatown with your fellow interns who need the full New York experience. Um, no thanks. You might notice that the healthy, responsible people in the office bring their own lunch from home and leave it in the fridge, which is obviously the best option. But if you dont feel like cooking and prepping the night before, look up healthy spots near your office that can be your go-to for the summer. Theres no shame in ordering the same kale salad every day and pretending youre allergic to everything else.

6. Make Up Dietary Restrictions

It doesnt matter if you spend your whole year making fun of your gluten-free friends. When your office has a Donut Friday tradition, youre deathly Celiac and youre sooooo sad about it. The easiest way to get out of eating shit all day is to just say you physically cant eat it. I mean, no ones gonna pressure you to eat Monday morning bacon if you keep kosher. No ones gonna make you order in Chipotle if you break out from spicy food. Honestly, you could make shit up and no one would know that its not a real thing. Just make sure they dont catch you drunk-eating deep dish pizza on Saturday night.

7. Be The Beverage Bitch

Having a million beverages on you is keynot only at this internship, but in every aspect of life. Okay, thats a little dramatic, but if Karlie Kloss drinks a gallon of water a day, it cant hurt to get on board. Making sure youre drinking water all day will make you so much less hungry, so dont show up empty-handed. Bring at least a liter of water into the office with you everyday, and stock up on low-cal drinks like iced coffee, matcha, Diet Snapple, and green tea. Youll have to pee like 50 times before you make it to happy hour, but its worth it.

read more : 30 days the easiest way to burn fat

5 Women Share Their Weirdest First Dates Betches

Way too often, dating advice can stray into an icky area. And by icky, I mean letting men sound off at random on the things they don’t like about women, so women can go ahead and make sure they never do any of those things. While I understand the impulse—some of my own articles are along similar lines—I thought it would be nice to take a break from deep dives into the male psyche and talk shit analyze men’s behavior instead. Here are some of the weirdest first date offenses committed by straight men, as told by my hilarious friends. It’s basically a transcript of your next brunch if everyone’s recent dates were exclusively terrible. So…your next brunch. Enjoy!

The “Friend Zone” Guy

“Once on a first date, a guy demanded to know about 20 minutes in whether or not I was attracted to him because he had been friend zoned too many times and needed to make sure it wasn’t going to happen again. And then I turned very red and said I wasn’t sure what to say, and then he later implied he was good at oral sex.” – Phoebe, Journalist

Outstanding. IMO, he could have said any one of these three things and gotten the same point across. Let’s break it down.

“Are you attracted to me? = “Often, women are not attracted to me.”

“I’ve been friend zoned too many times” = “Often, women are not attracted to me.”

“I’m good at oral sex.” = “Often, women are not attracted to me enough to want to have sex with me, so I try to convince them that I have other skills to make up for it. Also, I’m not very good at oral sex.”

And yet he went with all three. I guess men were never really known for their subtlety. Moving on!

The Guy Who Is Probably A Murderer

“There was this crazy German dude who asked to put noise canceling headphones and a blindfold on me before we hooked up. But again, not clear why because he took them off before we actually hooked up. He just made me sit in silence and dark for like 2 minutes beforehand.” – Whitney, Editor

Let’s dissect this a tiny bit. I’m very, very concerned about what he was doing for two minutes after blocking out her senses. TBH, my first thought was that he needed to take a massive dump but like, shouldn’t he have equipped her with nose clips then too? Other theories are that he needed to complete a quick drug deal, hustle another girl out of his room before she saw, or take pictures of her to add to his collection of polaroids of fully clothed women wearing headphones and blindfolds. All of which, ew. I’m going to disable all of my friends’ dating apps. It’s too scary out there.

The Awkward Guy

“The last date I went on, we got coffee, except he didn’t get coffee. He got a slice of banana bread and ate half and then slowly broke the rest down into crumbs with his fingers while we were talking.” – Jane, Hostess

“One introduced me to his parents.” – Victoria, Video Game Producer

Say what you will, but I think both offenses are equal level dealbreakers.

The Condescending Guy

“There was a guy who told me he was seeing other girls but he liked me the most because I was “pretty easy to talk to” and “know a little about music.” – Emily, Consultant

Like friend zone guy, you definitely, definitely know this guy. You probably worshipped him in high school, dated him in college, and reject him once a week now. This is the guy who confuses “opinions I have” with “good taste,” and constantly vocalizes whether or not things meet his standard. And by things, I mean women, which works out because that’s how he thinks of them.

The Wild Card

“[He] told me he voted for Ted Cruz.” – Lucinda, Grad Student

TBH I’m stuck on what would be worse: having your date tell you that they voted for Ted Cruz, or going on multiple dates with a guy who voted for Ted Cruz without ever knowing.

There you have it! The weirdest first date stories I got with a mass text, and they are…honestly, pretty awful. Let’s all take this as a reminder to brush up on our fake emergency calls and “bad sushi” lies. Like you’ve ever regretted a night in.

Images: Giphy (3)

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‘Bachelor’ Contestants Dating Real Celebrities Is Not Okay

I had a lot of feelings about Sarah Hyland and Wells Adams’ relationship. Feelings like, “Ugh, jealous” and, “They both love dogs—they are so cute, I love them,” and more recently, (since I follow both of the on Instagram) “Okay, that’s a bit much”. But most importantly, I felt that their pairing must be an anomaly. Because Wells is far superior to anyone that has ever been a contestant on franchise, so he should be the only one who will ever date a real life celebrity who is actually talented. But with the news of Nick Viall and January Jones’ extremely undeserving of Better Draper random pairing, I am legit worried that contestants dating celebrities is going to be like, a thing.

Before I explain how this will ruin my chances of ever getting with Wells the show, I will say this: I am here for the whole “stars, they’re just like us” aspect of this sitch. Honestly, I feel really close to any actress that goes on late night television and talks about her love for . Like, we should be friends, girl. Let’s combine fantasy leagues. But A-list actresses (and B-list, in Sarah Hyland’s case) dating the contestants? That’s just, in the words of Andi Dorfman, not okay. And let me tell you why.

Shit’s Just Not Fair

As if it’s not enough that the female contestants have to compete with 20+ other wannabe Instagram models gorgeous women for a mediocre man’s affection, now they have to worry about getting engaged, only to be dumped for a hot celebrity with way more followers than them? Like, what the fuck is the point of battling it out against the Krystal’s of the world when you know you will just have to fight the January’s once you get that Neil Lane diamond?

On the other hand, I would LOVE to see an all-superfan celebrity cast: Amy Schumer, Lea Michele, Jennifer Aniston, and Jennifer Lawrence re-interrupting each other for time with someone equally as lame as Arie. Brb, pitching the idea to Mike Fleiss.

Literally No One Will Be There To Find Love

The idea that being on / can be a gateway drug to award show red carpets is dangerous for the franchise’s dedication to true love. I mean seriously—proof that they can get legit famous (by proxy) will only further encourage fame-seekers to audition for the show. The more ex-contestant/current celebrity couples we get, the less authentic the franchise will become. And if love doesn’t exist on , then does it even exist at all?

Jk, who am I kidding—the franchise broke up with authenticity years ago. Can’t wait to see Arie and like, fucking Brie Larson at the Golden Globes next year.