Shopping for swimwear is pretty much the most miserable activity for everyone in the world besides maybe like, Chrissy Teigen, but it’s especially shitty for betches with big boobs. The one piece trend is basically fashion’s middle finger with a tacky acrylic nail to anyone with more than a C cup. Without exaggerating (which is like, physically painful for me because I effing love exaggerating), I’ve probably tried on more than 100 one pieces and have only found a couple that actually really fit properly. I’d literally rather go on bad Tinder dates for a week straight then every try on another ill-fitting one piece. Because I’m like, so nice (lol) and want to share my findings with the rest of the big titty committee, here are the absolute best big boob suits I’ve found.
Finding this one piece was practically a spiritual awakening for me. It has everything I’ve ever wanted in a swimsuit; an open back, a little side boob window, a cheeky bottom and high-cut legs. Normally, I can’t wear anything with an open back that shows off side boob, but this little masterpiece has adjustable straps to prevent gravity from shitting all over my entire life.
Halter tops are totally perfect for big boobs, as long as they’re easily adjustable. This one has removable padding, which is something you should always look for in swimwear if you’re “busty.” (Seriously, can we come up with a new word to replace busty? It’s like, so gross.) Anyway, a lot of extra padding can make you look bulkier than you are, and considering your boobs are probably already bigger than the padding, you’ll end up with mystery bulges all over your chest if it’s a bad fit. Removing the padding is totally a game changer if you haven’t tried it yet.
You know when you find a swimsuit on Instagram but you’re terrified to buy it because literally everything looks so much better on IG? Well, I was feeling adventurous AF and ordered this anyway. I’m so glad I did, because the lace up front magically shows off and holds up boobs at the same exact time. The best thing about this is the lace up is super adjustable, so you don’t have to worry about what size to order considering the fact that you’re typically an XS bottom and an XL top; just order whatever size you’d typically get in bottoms.
Normally, I’d tell anyone bigger than a B cup to avoid ruffled swimwear harder than I’d advise avoiding a dude who uses the pretty filter on Snapchat, but I was so surprised when I tried this one on. The ruffle is on the shoulders, so it doesn’t create an optical illusion that adds 100 pounds to your figure like most ruffled tops would. The fabric of this one piece is basically Spanx. So amazing.
Realistically, we’d all wear literal trash bags if they said Calvin Klein across the front. Thanks, Bieber. Anyway, this super simple design is super flattering, too. Like I said, adjustable straps are lifesavers. Plus, the material is lined and really comfortable. I surprisingly have zero complaints about something for once!
The bottom line: When shopping for one pieces as a betch with big boobs, adjustable shit is key. One pieces are tricky because unlike two pieces where you can mix-and-match sizing, there’s no way you can describe your body as small, medium or large when you have ~curves~. Whether that’s straps or a lace-up front, look for designs that have some kind of movable feature that you can easily tailor to your own shape.
Despite a belief that women don’t support each other, Tara&Co is bringing on three female leaders in the tech industry to serve on the lifestyle startup’s advisory council. Hearsay Systems CEO Clara Shih, Google GM of small and medium business ads Kim Spalding and Etsy COO Linda Kozlowski are all coming on board to advise Tara&Co.
“There’s a common meme that women don’t support each other and that’s why they don’t rise,” Tara&Co CEO Julia Lam told TechCrunch. “I don’t think that’s true.”
As an example, Lam noted the recent launch of Female Founder Office Hours, led by Sequoia Capital’s Jess Lee and other prominent female VCs in tech.
“When you have women at the top, it trickles down,” Lam said.
With Shih, Spalding and Kozlowski on board, Lam hopes to further Tara&Co’s mission of building beautiful yet functional products for the professional woman.
“For any startup to be successful, you need the best team — both staff internally and advisors and mentors to help guide you along the way to help you focus and iterate on your product, and future business strategies,” Lam said. “People who have seen the problem before, and can point you in the right direction so when you see a challenge, you can more easily navigate it.”
Tara&Co’s goal is to “fuse fashion and function,” Lam said. All of the products are designed to be aesthetically appealing yet have lots of hidden and convertible functionality.
“The women we design for need to look good, but also seek practical accessories as they navigate their busy schedules and often switch from work to play.”
Tara&Co was totally bootstrapped through the research and development process. In June, the company completed a crowdfunding campaign that resulted in more than $110,000 in funding. Already, the company is generating revenue, mostly from its Tracy 2-in-1 bag, which is named after former Pinterest engineer and Project Include co-founder Tracy Chou.
“It’s a tongue-in-cheek take on Balmoral – my take on it, basically,” he said.
The Queen was “definitely a fashion icon”, he said, but it’s Meghan Markle, soon to be married to the Queen’s grandson, Prince Harry, who he dreams of dressing one day.
Quinn was born in south-east London, and has stayed close to his roots. He studied fashion at London’s Central St Martin’s, following in the footsteps of fashion giants John Galliano, Roksanda Illincic, Christopher Kane and Alexander McQueen.
Another alumnus, Stella McCartney, sponsored his MA on the fashion programme of 2016 through her foundation.
His work draws on a little known artist from the 1960s, Paul Harris. Quinn became obsessed with the idea of transforming a woman into a textile by covering her entirely in colour and print.
“I wanted to create a strong image,” Quinn said in an interview with Dazed and Confused. The result is an odd, otherworldly look.
His womenswear is currently stocked in Matches Fashion, Machine A and Liberty London.
The head teacher of a British primary school has urged parents not to wear pyjamas when bringing their children in, for fear of setting them a bad example. But pyjamas, far from being seen as dowdy and scruffy, were once at the very apex of fashion.
The Lido, Venice’s most famous beach, has been known for more than 150 years for its sophistication. So, an advertising poster from 1927 comes as something of a surprise.
It proclaimed to potential wealthy visitors that the Lido was “the beach of sunshine and pyjamas”. Its sands and hotels were places where people could feel comfortable spending days and evenings relaxing and partying in a garment today associated with bedtime, convalescence or days slobbing out on the sofa.
In a week where a head teacher in Darlington has told parents not to do the school run wearing pyjamas for fear of not setting a “good example” to their children, it’s hard to believe they were ever haute couture.
But the 1920s were a different time. While pyjamas – from the Hindi “paejama”, meaning “leg covering” – had become established nightwear for men since the 1870s, it was seen as adventurous for a woman to wear trousers of any kind, especially in public.
The force for change was the French fashion designer Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel, who decided baggy pyjama-style trousers – complete with a loose-fitting shirt or a sleeveless top – could combine elegance and comfort.
As early as 1918, she began wearing “beach pyjamas”. With their gender-confusing suggestion of the boudoir, they were seen as shocking, but such was Chanel’s influence that they became popular among rich women by the mid-1920s.
The up-and-coming resort of Juan-les-Pins on France’s Cote d’Azur marketed itself on being less stuffy than rival destinations and became popularly known as “Pyjamaland” in English and “Pyjamapolis” in French, so commonly worn were they among its visitors. Some chose Chanel-style fashion pyjamas, but others, seemingly for fun, spent their days outdoors in actual bedtime pyjamas, complete with dressing gown.
“There is a town in France, where summers start at the beginning of spring and ends at the end of autumn,” wrote the journalist Robert de Beauplan in 1931. “There, you can see women wearing strange dresses. It’s strictly speaking Pyjamapolis.” In the same year, Vogue magazine was advertising pyjamas as “woollen suits for the beach”.
In 1932, two women wearing brightly coloured pyjamas caused a stir on Brighton seafront as they promenaded while smoking pipes.
“Throughout the 1930s the styles spread further and could be seen lining the beaches of Britain, yet trousers for women remained somewhat taboo outside of the relaxed dress codes of the beach or the privacy of the home until later in the century,” says fashion historian Amber Butchart.
Chanel herself discovered this attitude on a visit to Juan-les-Pins. The story goes that a doorman refused her entry to a casino. Its owner, Edouard Baudoin, intervened, saying: “Mademoiselle Chanel, you are living proof that one must not be merely dressed, but well-dressed.” The publicity seemingly did neither Baudoin or Chanel any harm.
By World War Two, the craze for pyjamas was fading, with the swimsuit overtaking it as the female beach clothing of choice. Chanel was again among those at the forefront of its popularisation. The post-war period saw the more revealing bikini take over.
But Robert de Beauplan’s observations are a reminder of the effect pyjamas had on the inter-war world. They gave “women an unprecedented look, more free, cheekier, and its relaxed attitude always remains tasteful”, he wrote.
There were simple “classic” versions available, he added, and “more dressed-up” types, with a lower cut, especially at the back. “It’s the afternoon outfit, for visits, tea, dancing and cocktails,” wrote Beauplan. “There are also night pyjamas, which look like dresses from afar when you see them in casinos, until you see the person dance quickly the fox-trot and then, there’s no mistaking.”
Born in 1883 in Saumur, France, she was raised in an orphanage, where she learned to sew
She worked as a singer, where she picked up the nickname “Coco”, before opening her first clothes shop in 1910
In 1921, she launched Chanel No 5, still one of the world’s best-selling perfumes, and later popularised the “little black dress”
During the Nazi occupation of France in World War Two, she had an affair with a German officer, moving to Switzerland after hostilities ended
Chanel returned to Paris in the early 1960s, her fashions once again becoming popular, and died at the Hotel Ritz in 1971
But they’ve become controversial again for a different reason. Kate Chisholm, head teacher of Skerne Park Academy in Darlington, County Durham, has complained that parents are turning up at school dressed in them. She’s urged them to “dress appropriately in day wear”, arguing this will set their children a better example, increasing pride and academic achievement.
Similarly, in 2014, US fashion commentator Clinton Kelly remarked there had been a “downward spiral of style” over the previous decade. Adults who might pop to the local shop for a pint of milk or newspaper wearing slippers and pyjamas felt they had “permission not to care” about sartorial standards.
Some of the Skerne Park parents, who have been vilified on social media, could at least take succour from one of Chanel’s best known remarks: “It is always better to be slightly underdressed.”
As betches, we’re always wondering WTF models and celebrities are eating. We probably need a new hobby, but honestly this one keeps us busy enough for now. The VS Fashion Show is in Shanghai this year, and we already have our Seamless orders ready to cuddle up with a bottle of Pinot Noir and watch Candice Swanepoel strut down the runway in lingerie that would realistically only be found in a gentleman’s club in Downtown LA. Regardless, we’ve been doing some research on what the Angels like to eat leading up to the show. Or like, what their trainers are making them eat. Here’s what we found.
It feels like Adriana’s been in the VS lineup forever, so she’s obviously doing something right. I mean, this woman is literally a MOM and has a better body than 99% of European models and 100% of all Americans. IDK if it’s the Brazilian genes or the discipline to do boxing workouts six days a week, but she has her nutrition on point. Adriana swears by eating six meals a day and she’s obsessed with buckwheat, a grain-like seed that’s filled with protein and fiber. She literally eats it with milk and honey before bed, and says it helps her burn calories while she sleeps. BRB, currently ordering a 10 pound bag of buckwheat on Amazon.
Blanca Padilla is coached by a famous NYC trainer Stephen Pasterino, and he controls her exact diet and workout schedule before the show. Her diet is all about eliminating foods that could cause bloating or inflammation, so she takes a shot of apple cider vinegar in the morning and then avoids any hard-to-digest foods like kale, broccoli, nut butters, and bananas. She’s also not allowed to have any salt with her meals and can’t have any packaged foods whatsoever. Sounds like hell.
Sara claims she basically eats like a basic betch throughout the year, and then cuts down to healthy foods and a ton of exercise before the show. She basically lives off pizza, bread, and pasta, and then swaps the carbs for fish, fruit, chicken, and veggies before the show, while adding in a gym sesh 4-5 days a week. This diet honestly doesn’t sound that bad, the issue is that I do not for one second believe she actually eats all those carbs when she’s not in VS show mode.
Lais Ribeiro says she doesn’t even change her diet that much around the time of the show. She eats a lot of protein all year to keep her muscles healthy, so she just makes sure to have protein every day leading up to the show. Aside from that, she just depends on whole foods and real ingredients. Ugh, boring.
Martha is also protein-obsessed, but her diet is more meat-heavy than you’d expect. Let’s just say this girl isn’t ordering a salad. Martha says she swears by meat, salmon, and eggs to fill her up, and she also loves almond butter to spread on basically anything. Martha is definitely one of the models who works out really hard, so the high-protein diet makes sense. Like, she trains at an NYC boxing gym called Dogpound on the reg. She’s not exactly sipping on a green juice afterwards.
Bridget got snubbed from the VS show this year, but we’re pretty fascinated by what she was eating when she thought she would be in the show. Like, let’s just say she seems like a bit of an obsessive dieter. I mean, we’re not judging or anything. We’ve tried every diet in the book, but we don’t claim to live a balanced lifestyle or anything like that. Bridget is a vegan, and she also makes sure to wait at least 12 hours between breakfast and dinner. She follows some Japanese principle called “Hara hachi bu” which means you stop eating when you’re 80 percent full. I have a headache just thinking about this diet, but if it works for her, you do you, Bridget. She sounds like the type of girl who takes her horoscope too seriously. Just saying.
We should probably start by saying that Josephine claims she hates the word “diet” and loves to live a “healthy lifestyle.” We’re guessing she probably also shops on the Goop website and calls a whole wheat bagel a cheat meal. Regardless, Josephine sticks to protein, vegetables, and brown rice for her pre-show routine. She says her typical breakfast is scrambled eggs and brown rice, which seems pretty legit and respectable but also kind of disgusting. Eggs and rice? Sounds gross. But then again, she says she doesn’t drink American milk because she only likes the milk from Denmark, so like, maybe she is a psycho. Also, who drinks milk?